6 Weird Things About Me

I've been meme-ed by hollowsquirrel and I don't even know what that means!? I hope it's not like getting reamed 'cuz that would suck. At any rate...

1) This one was easy because, upon hearing this fact, several people have said, "You're weird". I hate condiments. No food allergies or trying to be difficult. They just make me gag. The worst thing is the condiment bar at any major ballpark with the ketchup/mustard/onion/jalapeno funk hanging like a stink cloud. Tartar sauce? Blech. Mayo? Sick. Russian Dressing? Oh God, I'm gonna heave. You get the picture.

2) Despite being a prim and proper Mid-Western white girl, I love 80's and 90's bass-thumpin' hip-hop. Snoop, Dre, Biggie, LL, A Tribe Called Quest, Tupac - all of it. (I am known as The Rapper by the friend of a friend.) My sister loves the image of me buying bootleg mix CDs on Canal Street. What happened in the 00's? They lost me with that whole dirty South shizz.

3) I HATE the Menard's man and jingle. It just might drive me to an early grave. I hear that jangly banjo and my blood pressure rises - quickly. It's almost like when Mary Hart from Entertainment Tonight used to give people seizures. He was gone for a few years but now he's back and I need to know who un-retired him? I was content with the geeky lady in the overalls with the oversize glasses.

4) I'm not an animal person. Please don't make me play with your dog or cat and pretend I love him. Kind of I play it off as allergies because cats do make me stuffy and watery-eyed but really it's the smell and the licking and the sniffing and the pile of hair all over my black pants after I've shoo-ed them away. Cats can sense this and are all over me like white on rice. Once during a get-to-know-me exercise at work, we had to write down 2 truths and a lie. Others had to guess which one was the lie. My lie was "I love cats". People were HORRIFIED. "What's wrong with you?" "Are you dead inside? Kitties are cute!" They are cute and I get that they're smart and wonderful and a family member but ... they're just not for me.

5) In college, I was so obsessed with the football team that I'd get a program at the beginning of the season so I could learn who the players were and what their numbers were. It became known as The Bible and was replaced every year. My friends would quiz me if we saw someone in a letter jacket around campus. "That's So-and-So. He's #4. Sophomore. Wide receiver. 6'2", 185. From Muncie, Indiana." Saaad. If only I'd spent that much time studying stuff that really mattered.

6) For years, I've harbored a secret urge to break a buttload of glass. The day I snap, I'm going to have to hit a recycling center and go to town. I have visions of doing Dr. J hook shots and touchdown dances with wine bottles. I would LOVE to work my way through an entire glassware section at any major retailer (picture me running through the aisles with arms outstretched, scooping whole shelves off onto the floor) but that'd add up pretty quickly.

So that's that. The ONLY weird things about me. And since I don't know 6 bloggers, I've broken the chain and will probably face 7 years of bad luck. Nuts!